Oh yea, serves me right. Grrrrrrrr!

What’s the matter? Quite simple. I did cave in and picked up the first and second Artemis Fowl books…and now I pay the price…

I usually am a reasonable person, and whoever’s snickering right now…just don’t. Because I could ditch all semblance of sensibility and go on a rampage right now. 

It’s actually rather amazing how a simple…say…young adult book series can drive me nuts. And it’s not even the writing. It’s the printed versions.

See, when I go for a printed series, I tend to belong to those kind of people who, like, put these books on a shelf. Next to each other. In sequence, left to right, starting with the first, then the second…you get the idea I guess, and, here’s a shot in the dark, I reckon I am not the only one doing so.

Now….yes, I do live abroad kinda, i.e. Continental Europe, to you Yanks known as ‘where most of our ancestors came from’. We speak German over here where I am at. We tend to translate books and print them, too (Yes on paved roads, electricity and indoor plumbing and a few other things, we got them as well these days). Amazon Germany recognized the fact though that quite a few people here tend to read English books, too (could be because the translated versions often are shoddy, badly translated and up to twice as expensive as the original versions…maybe the translators want to be paid as well, but…come ON….100% price increase at times???). The problem though…not only do they stock both the UK and the US versions (different artwork, sometimes different spelling, at times different color schemes), no, they also stock a heckuvalot of different versions of Artemis Fowler books. So we haved the large print, the Quality, the Mass Market, paperback, hardcover and some sort of collector’s edition and what not.

Now, I went for the Mass Market edition. At least for the first two books. Then I ordered the next three books. By the same printer (Hyperion Books, here’s looking at you)…Only I did not check which versions of the not-hardcover editions I went for. Same price. Same cover. Only two of them were the Quality edition, one of them the Mass Market edition. Naturally book #5 is the Mass Market edition. Turns out the Quality edition is substantially larger than the Mass Market edition and a) will not fit on the shelf next to the other copies (Ikea, Billy…and yes, I do tend to have more than one line of shelves of paperbooks on top of each other, I go for a varied diet of books so I need space…) and, adding insult to injury, aesthetically it just looks WRONG to have the line going ‘normal, normal, HUGE, HUGE, normal’. Nope, not pleasing by far and as the wife is always claiming feng shui stuff (alright, so she mostly complains about me not having the books in an orderly fashion and thinking that dusting shelves is what OTHER people do) this can’t go on like this.

Still, simple, send the big versions back and get the normal versions in return….well, not so. One of the books is only available in Quality over here in Germany. ACK! And looking at Amazon in the US? For one thing again, they go inches on me (METRIC, DAMMIT, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN FROM NASA’S ERRORS??) and for another…they only have one version. WHICH ONE IS IT? 

Maybe I should go for the collectors edition of the first four or five books in some kind of box and ship of the other two books I already read to my brother…maybe he will like them and then in turn have the same problems as I do getting the other ones. Shared pain is half the pain or however the saying goes.

Yet…I wanted to read the next book…and now have to wait.. which is especially hard as I am going on a three day business trip and would have really needed something to read.

Blah. Must have eBook reader. Would solve a few problems…among others…too many books in the shelves and dust cluttering on them. Now how do I break that to the wife…

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